Score draw

Well that was exciting wasn’t it?

When asked if I would take a draw before the Newcastle match yesterday, I declined. It’s not that we’re guaranteed better, but there’s definitely a good enough chance – especially at home.

Having said that, am I disappointed with a draw? Sure I am, but only because I’ve always thought that if you score the most goals, you’ll win.

Yes, we should have scored another in the first half when we looked the better team. Yes, Howard should have done better with Ba’s first goal. Yes, Newcastle were the better side in the second half.

BUT WE STILL SCORED MORE THAN THEM.

If football was decided in the same manner as gymnastics then a draw would probably have been the right result, but it’s not so I think I am entitled to feel aggrieved.

Scorelines and injustices aside, it was a pretty exciting end-to-end game. The gesture with the mascots was fitting and well- received. And I’m still pleased we can score some goals this season!

Predictions

Here are my predictions* for today’s games…

Everton will beat Aston Villa 2-0, just writing that down has made me incredibly nervous *crosses fingers*

Manchester United will beat Fulham 3-1, and Rooney will emerge from last week’s pie induced slumber to bag one of those. Still got a soft spot for Rooney.

I think Norwich vs. QPR will be a draw, but only because QPR are local so I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Southampton, Wigan, meh, who cares.

Sunderland vs. Reading. Hmmmm, could go either way. Late winner for either.

Tottenham and West Brom will hopefully be a goal fest: 4-2.

And Newcastle will beat Chelsea 2-1. I hate Chelsea 😉

Oh, and Swansea are just about to kick off against West Ham, *thinks really hard*, no I can’t muster an opinion, sorry.

*Disclaimer: I will only ever predict an outcome I want, it is not recommended this information is used to make any major life decisions

Things I like about Fellaini

So, that was weird. We won. Hmmmm. I don’t usually have anything positive to say until post-Christmas. I feel totally unprepared. So I’m just going to list things I like about Fellaini since he was the man tonight.

1. He looks like a microphone
2. He seems skinny is actually very robust
3. #RoyalHairForce
4. He used to run to school for fun (I know, what?)
5. He always wins the ball (190 times last season, more than anyone else)
6. His performance tonight guarantees us hair puns all over tomorrow’s papers
7. HE SCORED A GOAL TODAY AND WE WON

Nervous? Me?

This weekend was great.

Most impotantly Everton beat Spurs.  And we looked pretty good as well (ok ok so I only watched a bit of the second half, in a pub behind a tall bloke, and I what do I know anyway, but Twitter was full of praise for our boys in blue).  This is good for 3 reasons:

1. When your team wins it just is good, even better when that is a top team rather than one of the irrelevant teams starting with B or W (I know, describing Spurs as a top team is weird, but better when you realise it means they’re above Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal)

2. It has pushed us into the top half of the table, which for some reason makes me feel infinitely better about life

3. It gives me license to poke fun at the numerous Spurs fans I know…

Aside from that, there was the great Manchester drama – Reds winning and Blues losing seeing them switch places in the table (let’s hope for a similar turn of events in Liverpool tonight) – the bf was hapy for the first time in 5 months.

And Sunderland won, not a pre-requisite for me to enjoy the weekend but a nice addition.

Plus Liverppol lost.  Ha.  And Chelsea just about beat a 10 man Stoke at home.

But the trouble with football is, just as soon as you’ve finished watching a joyous MOTD2, where all the results are just what you want to see, you’ve got to steel your nerve for the next big match.

And I am nervous about tonight.  I can’t help it.  Even though I am eternally optimistic (I always bet on the team I want to win, I still hold out a vague hope we will sneak up and  finish 4th), big matches give me the heebie jeebies and I spend most of my time hiding behind the sofa (or bar stool), or with my face in my hands.  Being a football fan is only pleasant if you win; until that point it’s just like waiting for exam results, or waiting to see if the ATM will supply you with cash at the end of the month, or if someone you fancy will text you back.

So, I’m going out for a burrito instead.  Tweet me if we win.

We hate, sorry beat, Chelsea

So….how long is it until a hiatus changes and you’re just not doing it any more?  That is the theory I have been testing with my (not so) recent blog posts.  Anyway, I’m back, the last post was in response to the Suarez/Evra incident so this seemed as good a weekend as any to pick up again.

I would give you my opinion but it is the same as everyone elses (even King Kenny seems to have finally realised what a prat that guy is) so I won’t bother.  Needless to say Evra could have restrained himself and taken the moral high ground, but he is french so that really is too much to expect – oops, there we go with the racism again.

Even more exciting than the no handshake/grabbed arm/double tackle rio headstand/2 wazza goals/last gasp Suarez goal/Evra celebration/police called to the tunnel/crazy Kenny interview, is that Everton beat Chelsea.  Right after beating Manchester City.

And since yesterday, everyone has been asking me if I was going to write about how great it was to get two top team scalps, etc., etc.  Except it isn’t, is it?  Beating Manchester City certainly is great but, as readers of this blog will know, I don’t rate Chelsea these days.  They’re rubbish.  I’m still pleased we beat them, we’re rubbish too, but it’s on a par with beating Fulham, or Sunderland.  Still Pienaar and Stracqualursi (I know, who?) managed to get a goal each, and by all accounts everyone looked a bit hungrier and more organised than we have done so far this season.  Well, all Toffee fans know you can’t really expect any sort of happiness prior to Christmas.

Oh, and Fabio has resigned.  Which I don’t care about (if the manager doesn’t care about the England football team I don’t see why I should), except that Dodgy Harry is going to be the England manager now, and there are rumours Moyes might go to Tottenham…

Everyone’s a little bit racist, well footballers, well two of them anyway

Liverpool racism t-shirts

So, at the beginning of the year we were all talkign about sexism, now we seem to be on to racism.

Much like everyone else (with the notable t-shirted exception of the rest of the Liverpool squad), I’m pleased the FA has taken a firm stance, pleased the issue is being taken so seriously and feel little sympathy for the forward.  But I’m still finding the episode baffling.  Were I to utter a racist comment at work, I cannot imagine the hell that would rain down on me – and rightly so.  An 8 match ban is unlikely but I wouuld expect a warning, for the episode to be recorded and to be ostracised by most of the office.  Why are people surprised this is also the case on the football field?  Why should Suárez expect any different?

What makes this even stranger is that football must be one of the most ethnically diverse professions there is.  Whilst the Sian Massey incident may have been less surprising (note I said surprising there not acceptable) because female referees are still rare and a cause for comment.  But black players constitute a large proportion of the total and some of the best players in the world.

EBJT is facing even more serious criminal charges for shouting racial obscenities at Anton Ferdinand during a PL game.  The top punishmnet for this is £2,500, so not only will it have little impact on Terry from a fiscal point of view, there is also no chance of him joining the members of his clan who are already are in jail!

Ah, you see.  There is still one form of prejudice we are ok with: hating Chelsea and Liverpool.

Is this the worst week in football?

Fergie going cuckoo

It started with Sunderland losing to Wolves: disappointing but not a weekend ruiner.

Then I find out that my beloved toffees have lost 1-0 to Stoke, at home.  Not only does that sound like the most dire game of football  ever to be played but it’s also a lousy result.  Just when we were all getting optimistic this season was picking up before Christmas; we’d jumped from the teens to a single digit position.  And we’d all started counting our turkeys about the possibility of winning three on the bounce, and watching them hatch as we romped to Premier League glory.  Ok so I’m exaggerating, but really, losing at home to Stoke?  *sob*

And then tonight the unthinkable happened in Switzerland.  With a defence holier than the proverbial cheese, Manchester United conceded 2 and bombed out of the Champions League for the first time since Phil Jones was in short trousers (the metaphorical kind).  Fergie will be going cuckoo at the propsect of Thursday night trips to FC Nowheresville and Sporting Somwhereorother.  The only solace to be taken is in the fact that Sh*tty City also crashed out tonight, and the Swiss army knives could well be out for Mancini.

Well, I’ve got a few doors open on my advent calendar – a sure sign we’re headed into the busy festive period…let’s hope for some better results in Moyes, Fergie and O’Neill’s stockings this Christmas.  And a lump of coal for Chelsea.  We hate Chelsea.

Liverpool vs. Manchester City. Or, why it’s confusing being a football fan.

Liverpool vs. Manchester City

Before we start today’s post, let’s just take some time to be pleased about the Everton away win yesterday and the fact they are now in the top half of the table  – it’s not even Christmas yet!  COYB.

Yesterday’s win puts us 2 places behind Liverpool, playing today.  And it is whilst I watch this afternoon’s game that some of the difficulties in being a football fan come to my attention.  It defies logic.

Let me elaborate.

Firstly, we hate Liverpool.  This is a given, they are the local rivals and an all-round bad bunch.  This also works from the bf’s perspective, given the historical hatred between the ‘Pool and Manchester United.  Generally speaking we want Liverpool to lose.

Secondly, we hate Manchester City.  They’re incredibly dislikeable, all new money and no style (well except for the good football, but that just makes us hate them even more), and we generally resent Lescott for defaulting to there.  Again, this works well from the bf’s point of view – his local rivals in this case.  So, generally speaking, we also want Manchester City to lose.

It should be stalemate, with me just hoping for a no score draw and 22 career-ending injuries.

But, it is further complicated this year by Manchester City actually being good.  They are currently 4 points clear of Fergie’s men at the top of the table, with a game in hand on most teams, and we do not want Sh*tty City to win the league.  No way.

Does this mean I am “supporting”The Reds today?  That’s uncomfortable.  It’s like playing “Snog, marry, avoid” with the options of Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Richard Hammond.  Any outcome makes you feel nauseous.

I’m also still harbouring hopes that with our season having now started its upward trajectory and we might finish ahead of Kenny’s men.  In which case we definitely need them to lose to teams like City.

(Aside: Deluded though I am, I am not harbouring hopes of us beating City – last time I made that assertion the Toffees would finish above them I was forced to eat my words, and my hat.)

And here is the litmus test: Kompany scores for the blues.  Urgh, I do want Liverpool to score – even better if it is from a Lescott mistake!  (Bitter, me?)

And if you’re wondering: snog Hammond, marry Piers, avoid Cowell.  Gross, I need a hot shower.

10 things I am more interested in that tonight’s friendly

So chaps, tonight it’s the big one; no, not Fleetwood Town vs. Wycombe Wanderers, but England vs. Spain.  You all know this blog is only interested in Premiership football, and this weekend is no exception.  I’d rather re-watch Everton lose 2-1 to Newcastle (despite being parked in the Magpies’ goal area for all of the second half) than this evening’s examination of what happens when the world’s worst midfield comes up against the world’s best midfield.  So, in that spirit, here are 10 tings I’m more interested in that tonight’s friendly.

1. The Times’ list of the 30 best places for cream tea.  Not really fair since I am probably more interested in tea than any type of football but it still stands.

2. Cleaning the bathroom.  Yes, really.

3. Whether I need another pair of shoes.  Yes probably.

4. Buying said shoes.

5. Whether Bruce Forsythe has made it through another week and is still presenting Strictly.

6. The arrival of Wilberforce Wanderers’ newest striker (fingers crossed).

7. Gareth Southgate’s tie and wasitcoat combo.

8. The incredibly new but incredibly complicated Brent recycling system.

9. British plums.  Wahey!

10. The claim that only Rooney and Terry would even make the Spain reserve team.  Terry?  Really?

And a few things I’m not.

1. The X Factor fall out the boy with the hair’s drub-based deprture this week.

2. My general lack of understanding about the Eurozone crisis.

3. The royal baby rumours (unless is turns out they’re not rumours, obvs).

Good luck boys, or whatever.

#wehatechelsea

Regular readers of this blog (hi Aunty Kathy) will know that we hate Chelsea.  And my natural reaction to yesterday’s 3-1 defeat was to want to post about that.  The thing is, Chelsea just aren’t the most hateable any more.  There’s Liverpool, natural enemies anyway but since King Kenny started trying to project an image of being top contenders again.  And Manchester City, who have beaten Chelsea at their own game: spending the most, employing some unsavoury characters, and generally just being to blinging and arrogant.

Chelsea don’t even have a manager of note any more.  We all loved to hate Mourinho.  And although not quite “the special one”, Ancelotti did have a mesmerising eyebrow.  Now Andre Villas Boas Constrictas is in charge, and he’s boring.

Controversy is another mainstay of a hateable club, but City has been providing all of that for the premier league recently.  From Chelsea there’s the continued debate about whether Fat Frank is actually fat (he must be, his name is Fat Frank), and whether EBJT is actually brave (he isn’t, don’t you understand irony?), zzzzzzzz.

So, in wake of a yesterday’s tragic defeat all I can do is say this: we don’t hate Chelsea.  We’re disinterested in them.

But FW will here on in be splitting it’s hatred between Liverpool and Manchester City.

Votes on the new catchphrase please: